Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Cleavage warfare

Today was pretty great in a very low key way. As a result, today's photos are of unexpected nice things.

I guess i just thought it was great because it should have been crap. I'm still ill, I had my essay to write and the newspaper page to finish, as well as an events team meeting to go to, but everything went so easily and smoothly that I'm at home, in bed, at half past 8. This never happens!

It's my mum's birthday today, and i wasn't able to talk to her because she's off on an adventure in Muscat, so i thought I'd take this opportunity to tell her and the rest of the world that i think she's wonderful and amazing and that I love her very, very much.

One of the reasons I love her is that she makes me look like an idiot pretty regularly, see...

Yeah, she'll do for now.

On an entirely unrelated note, Alex sent me the poem he wrote about me and my friend Rosemary Terry. It's horribly inappropriate, but i love it, so i thought I'd post it. You can look back through posts from this time 2 years ago for his previous poems if you want the full experience.

Rosemary Terror


Doesn't know what she wants, but she knows how to get it,
A friend when she's drunk, though she'd rather forget it,
To look at her you'd think a sin,
Those blameless eyes that draw you in,
But don't be fooled, she'll blast your wits,
While you're distracted by her tits,
And use those sweetest virgin eyes,
To kiss the boys and make them cry,

What use is mortal man's erection,
Coming up against perfection,
Lost amongst a sea of suitors,
Lucid dreams, OK Computers,
Yet when I think all hope has slipped,
A traitor's smile escapes her lips,

Attention that she knows I crave,
I'm falling and I won't be saved,
It takes some skill to puppet me,
And she just got an MSc,
Knowing lips so full and juicy,
How she teases just like Lucy...

Oh my God, she's just like Lucy,
Using hatred to seduce me,
Cleavage warfare keeps me wanking,
Terry front and Lucy flanking,
Backing me in to a corner,
How this makes me want to horn her...


Who do I want to fuck again?
20 catches in my brain,
I just don't need a couple more,
To beat my lust in to the floor,
My hungry heart is so confused,
Now they want to make me choose,

But why make such a choice at all?
If Onyx had to make the call,
He'd split himself to there and thine,
And hit two birds at the exact same time!
So Rosemary and Lucy stop your squabbling over me,
And solve the fight in bed tonight, mine's big enough for three.

Isn't he charming?!

I'm going to finish editing my essay tonight, but I'm pretty proud of it, so i might post it up here tomorrow, in case you're wondering what i do at university apart from get stressed and provoke perverse poets.

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