Thursday, 19 May 2011

To die, to sleep.

I am so tired. I have all but finished my English dissertation and am so bored of it that i can't even be bothered to proof read it. I'm leaving it alone for a day or two while i focus on my film dissertation, then over the weekend i'll polish them both up.

Everyone tells you about how stressful this week is, but they don't tell you how boring it is. I've been in the library for roughly fourteen hours a day almost every day for the past three weeks. I've almost gone past the point of caring now, i just want these things to be done. I just want to be in bed.

Saying that, today i started to worry that both my dissertations aren't academic enough. Neither of them quote Freud or Adorno. I find them interesting, but they are less theoretical than they are perhaps supposed to be. I'm terrified that i'll get a really harsh marker and end up with a 2.2 because i didn't write enough about the feminine lack or some such bollocks. I've resigned myself to the fact that i'm almost definitely getting a 2.1, and while it's slightly disappointing and i would love it if i got a first, i'm ok with it. If i get any lower than a 2.1 i don't know what i'll do. Right now i honestly can't think of anything worse. It's affecting my sleep.

Speaking of sleep, it's almost 1 in the morning (i let myself leave the library an hour earlier than i planned because i was so tired i almost fell asleep in my feminist theory) and i have to be back in the library at 7, so i'm going to sign off for the night.

Send me energy, and strength, and any luck you may have spare.

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