You only learn from mistakes if you make them first.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

My friend Alex occasionally writes poems. It seems like most of them are about me, mainly because I love his poems and ask him to write them. One of his favourite things to do when drunk and in a crowd is to embarrass me by reciting one he wrote within a week of meeting me. I posted it on here over 2 years ago, i'm sure you can find it if you search. Anyway, I keep asking him to write nicer, less sordid poems about me, and as a Valentine's gift he wrote me one. Apparently it's supposed to be more of a song than a poem, but Alex doesn't play any instruments. Anyway, here is it.

Valentines Pine

Lucy got lost when life gave her a hand,

And it gave her a kick when she was trying to stand,

Gives you a stitch when you run too fast,

Better slow down or it'll break your heart,

She thought I was a dick when I knew I was a charmer,

Rhyme about her tits, that's a winner to disarm her,

Did I really try to tickle her with prose on masturbation?

I tried to write her Lorca but I lost it in translation,

It's not about love, just a tipple of fun,

Try for five when you can't have one,

Rip if off quick, or it's gonna hurt worse,

Only learn from mistakes if you make them first,

All she saw was a fist when I gave her a hand,

Now she gets a kick out of making me stand,

Call her a bitch when I know I'm a tart,

Songs are sweeter when you break some hearts,

Take a gander at this girl that makes any man tingle,

What cynic would believe that this summertime's single,

To dare but to dream gives your heart a fatigue,

I'm betting even Nemo couldn't get to her league,

In the highest of stakes you don't get any nuts,

Anorexics tend to lack any guts,

I tried, I lost, and I looked a total tit-
But at least I had a go at it,

It's a day of love, that much is true,

Still, it's not that nice when love's evading you,

No-one reaches for the brightest stars,

They're all scared they'll get a broken heart.

That boy, he's a total sweetheart.

Anyway, my Valentine's plans include eating crepes, rehearsing and watching all three Toy Story films with my friends; and while a large part of me wishes my day were slightly more romantic, I have to say that as a plan it doesn't sound too shabby. I don't like how it has become cool to hate Valentine's day. I think any day that celebrates love and good feeling is a great thing, and that there should be more of them throughout the year.

If you're in love, I hope you have a wonderful day. If you're not, i hope you have an even better one.