I was on campus for 14 hours today. I woke up at 6, was on campus by half 8 and didn't leave till half 10. I'm dead already and it's only day 1.
As I may have said before, I really want this job. I love Sussex, I love activities, it's a job i've been training for for the past 2 years and i know for a fact that i'd be good at it. If it were a job with a regular application process i'd be feeling quietly confident right now. Instead, because of this election, i'm exhausted, stressed out, and almost 100% certain i'm not going to win.
This may sound defeatist, and is definitely not the way i should be thinking, but right now i don't really see any way in which i come out first. The awful thing is that this certainty is tempting me to cut and run, focus my attentions on my degree and my play, and do something else with my life next year. On the one hand, I'd be heartbroken to leave Sussex, but on the other, there's a whole big world out there that i haven't seen yet.
Right now i'm not sure whether i should buck up or back out. Will it hurt more to try and fail, or to choose not to compete?
I think I'll sleep on it and tell you the answer in the morning.