So yet again any semblance of a plan i had for the coming year has fallen through and I'm back to homeless, plan less square one. It's getting mildly frustrating and more than a little scary.
I was going to work the the union, then that didn't work out, then i was going to buy a house, but that didn't work out, so i was going to live with my friend, but now that hasn't worked out either. All this means that when my lease ends in August I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do.
This could be a freeing feeling, I'm now free to move anywhere in the world I want, do whatever i want to do, but instead i just feel more trapped. I really just want someone to tell me what to do. My brother is having fun travelling and being a bit of a drifter, and i can see the appeal, but it's not what I want to do. I love being busy, I love knowing everyone in the building I work in, I don't want to have to move somewhere new and start again, away from everyone I know. At the same time, there are no jobs in Brighton, and the only reason i was staying was to live with Lily. I could move to London, or San Francisco, or anywhere else I want. I'll be equally adrift anywhere i pick, so it really makes no difference.
On the brighter side, my dissertations are going well. I have an email interview with Dave Eggers which will constitute about 2000 words of my 8000 word English dissertation, so a quarter of my work about him will actually be written by him. An ingenious way of doing less work, I think. My film dissertation is still limitlessly depressing and fascinating, so that's fun too.
In my endless search for procrastination materials I came across this video, which is so beautiful and made me cry. I hope it brightens your day.
No comments:
Post a Comment